The Pokemon Anti Noob Guide
by Killer of thy Cookies
Summary: Ever wondered why you can never get to the Elite Four in your Pokemon games? Ever wondered why you are never able to beat the Champion? Well, this is the guide for you. Cheat codes will be given. Only disclosing emulator cheats, no DS or gameboy cheats!
1. The Money and Training Issue

**Yo! This is Killer of thy Cookies, and here I am with a brand new Pokemon fanfic! 'Tis here's a guide, how to be the pro-est of the pros in Pokemon and how to beat that irritating Champion down easily even if your Pokemon's levels are thirty levels below! Yeah! So, continue reading~ ****

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At the start of your Pokemon journey in any versions(FireRed, LeafGreen, Diamond, Crystal etc.)...

DON'T buy any Pokeballs at any Pokemon Marts.

DO train your Pokemon until at the level when they have learnt their first attack like Ember for Charmander, Water Gun for Squirtle etc. If not, catch another Pokemon.

_DON'T Example_

My name is Red of Pallet Town, and I have just gotten my first Pokemon - A Bulbasaur, from Professor Oak! After defeating my rival Blue, I have began my quest to be the greatest Pokemon Trainer that ever lived and defeat the Elite Four and Champion.

I decided that I surely needed a full powerhouse team, so I decided to go ahead and look for some wild Pokemon. However, I had no Pokeballs. So I decided to go on to Viridian City to buy five Pokeballs from the Pokemon Mart there.

At Viridian City, I bought five Pokeballs and got a parcel for the Professor along the way. Hopefully this Pokeballs would be useful because I blew all my remaining money on this. I could not move on to Viridian Forest because a grumpy old man was blocking the road. Just as well anyway, I could deliver the parcel to Professor Oak.

Back at Pallet Town in Professor Oak's lab, I delivered the parcel to him. At that same moment, Blue came rushing in, and we both received our PokeDexes and five Pokeballs. I wasn't expecting that one. I only needed five Pokeballs to complete a six-Pokemon team so I definitely did not need ten Pokeballs. Maybe in the near future, but definitely not now.

Great. Now I had gone and spent all my money on five extra Pokeballs I didn't even need. And get this. When I went back to the Mart to sell the Pokeballs, they only offered me half the price for them. Douches.

_DO Example_

I entered the Viridian Forest with my Level 5 Bulbasaur and my only Pokemon. I couldn't really bother to train it. After all, I was sure I could get through the Viridian Forest anyway. And anyway I had to flee from every wild Pokemon battle to get here quickly.

A wild Pokemon jumped out at me the moment I entered the tall grass. I ran away, and I figured if I kept doing that, I could get to Pewter City in no time. However, I was stopped by a few Trainers along the way.

"Battle me!" One of them cried, and I couldn't get away from it. I sent my Bulbasaur up against the Bug Catcher's two Pokemon. Even though we won, my Bulbasaur looked really tired. I had blown all my money on Pokeballs earlier, so I did not have enough money to buy Potions.

Soon, we were ambushed by a Bug Catcher. Then a second Bug Catcher. Then a third, a fourth and so on. By the time we got to the exit, there was a fifth Bug Catcher - the last Trainer before Pewter City. I sent Bulbasaur out, who had gained some experience but at the same time was looking extremely tired.

The Bug Catcher's Bug Pokemon, however, managed to knock Bulbasaur out after an easy battle in the Bug Catcher's favor. And to think I was near the exit too. Screw it.

And now I have to go through the whole Viridian Forest all over again, having to flee from more wild Pokemon and wasting time. After getting to that exit where that last Bug Catcher was, we had a rematch, and guess what?

I lost again.

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**I might continue to update this, seeing how many reviews I receive. So if you liek it, please review, people! This is technically a Pokemon Guide for NOOBS, but I don't think anyone will really use this xDDD Unless they're first-timers on Pokemon. Anyway, review people! Thanks thanks~ xDDD **

**P.S. I'm sorry this chapter was short. Each chapter will be. But I'll try to make the next one longer. **


	2. FEAR Strategy

**Killer of thy Cookies here with a brand new The Pokemon Anti Noob Guide chapter! In this chapter, I'll be discussing the F.E.A.R. strategy(Focus Sash, Endeavor, (Quick) Attack, Rattata) or just Fucking Evil Annoying Rodent. ****

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This is an awesome sure-kill strategy for Generation IV gamers only. The F.E.A.R strategy is an awesome way to own a Level 99 Dragonite with a Level 1 Rattata. Wanna know how? Continue reading.

_F (Focus Sash) _

For Pokemon Diamond, Pearl and Platinum, you can get the Focus Sash on Route 221 or at the Battle Tower with 48 BP. For Route 221, it'll be a little hard even after you follow the steps. There'll be a house on Route 221, go inside, and you'll see an old man. This old man will tell you a random Level between 1 to 100, and for example he says Level 25, you show him ANY Pokemon of Level 25, and he'll give you a reward. The next day, the cycle will repeat. Keep doing this for the first day and the second day and you'll receive two rewards that are completely unneeded for this strategy.

Only on the third day when you do this, your reward will be the Focus Sash.

I'd personally go for the Battle Tower approach, but I'm not God, I can't judge you, so screw that. You go do whatever you want.

For Pokemon HeartGold, you can also get it at the Battle Tower for 48 BP like Diamond, Pearl and Platinum. Nowhere else.

Pokemon Platinum Get All Items Action Replay Code on Emulator:

94000130 FFBB0000  
62101140 00000000  
B2101140 00000000  
D5000000 03E60044  
C0000000 0000002B  
D6000000 00000644  
D4000000 00000001  
D2000000 00000000  
94000130 FFBB0000  
62101140 00000000  
B2101140 00000000  
000006F4 03E60087  
000006F8 03E60088  
D2000000 00000000  
94000130 FFBB0000  
62101140 00000000  
B2101140 00000000  
D5000000 03E600D5  
C0000000 00000072  
D6000000 000006FC  
D4000000 00000001  
D2000000 00000000

Activate this Action Replay cheat code and then press Select + Up on your emulator, and go to your bag and go to Items, ta da! You got 990 of all items including Repels, Super Repels, Max Repels, Focus Sashes etc.

Pokemon HeartGold and SoulSilver Get All Items Action Replay Code on Emulator:

94000130 FFBB0000  
62111880 00000000  
B2111880 00000000  
D5000000 03DE0044  
C0000000 0000002C  
D6000000 00000654  
D4000000 00000001  
D2000000 00000000  
94000130 FFBB0000  
62111880 00000000  
B2111880 00000000  
00000708 03DE0087  
0000070C 03DE0088  
D2000000 00000000  
94000130 FFBB0000  
62111880 00000000  
B2111880 00000000  
D5000000 03DE00D5  
C0000000 00000072  
D6000000 00000710  
D4000000 00000001  
D2000000 00000000

Same as before, must press Up + Select while going to your bag. I don't know the cheat codes for Diamond and Pearl emulators, if you really want it that badly, go search for it on Google or something.

_R (Rattata) _

You might realise I'm doing F, then R. Not F, E, A then R like in the order they're supposed to be. If you don't like that, screw it.

Firstly, catch a Rattata. If you don't know where to catch a Rattata, I don't know what to say to you. Noob. Anyway, if you really don't know how to catch a Rattata, here are some good locations where you can catch it.

Pokemon Diamond and Pearl:  
Route 225 (Uncommon)  
Route 226 (Uncommon)

Pokemon Platinum:  
Route 225 (Uncommon)  
Route 226 (Uncommon)

Pokemon HeartGold and SoulSilver:  
Route 29 (Common)  
Route 32 (Common)  
Route 33 (Common)  
Route 38 (Common)  
Route 39 (Common)  
Route 46 (Common)  
Sprout Tower (Common)  
Union Cave (Common)  
Burned Tower (Common)  
Bell Tower (Common)  
Mt. Mortar (Common)

_E (Endeavor) and A (Quick Attack) _

Yes, so that's where you can catch Rattata. Well, catch a female and a male Ratatta that are both at least below Level 4. It's going to be hard, but train BOTH your Rattatas to at least Level 41. Make them learn Quick Attack at Level 4 and Endeavor at Level 41. Do not make them evolve.

After both your male and female Rattatas are at Level 41 and has Quick Attack and Endeavor among their moves, put them both in a DayCare Center for them to breed, resulting in a Level 1 offspring Rattata which knows Quick Attack and Endeavor.

_Wrapping things up _

Make your new Level 1 Rattata hold the Focus Sash, and go challenge the Champion and Elite Four or someone strong. Use your Rattata against your opponent's strong Pokemon, and first use Endeavor. As your opponent is very much higher in level, it's speed will definitely be faster, thus it will hit first. As it is higher in level, it's attack will 1-Hit KO your Level 1 Rattata, but the Focus Sash prevents Rattata from fainting. Then Rattata uses Endeavor and ta da! The foe's Pokemon will have the same 1 HP like your Rattata.

Next up, use Quick Attack to finish the foe off, because Quick Attack always strikes first. And now you have an invincible F.E.A.R-ful Rattata.

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**Next chapter I'll be doing on how to counter the F.E.A.R strategy. Stay tuned! xDDD**


	3. Countering the FEAR Strategy

**Any of you here play Pokemon hacks? Like Pokemon Naranja? I need recommendation on what Pokemon game to play next, I can't decide =( Anyways, here in Chapter 3, it's how to counter the FEAR strategy. Don't search online for help, coz this guide is the best ;) ****

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Pokemon battle music playing...

Youngster Austin would like to battle!

Youngster Austin sent out Rattata!

Go, Dragonite!

Dragonite used Hyper Beam!

Rattata does not faint because of Focus Sash!

Rattata used Endeavor!

Dragonite's HP is cut down to 1!

Rattata used Quick Attack!

Dragonite fainted!

WTF? THIS CAN'T BE RIGHT!

So as to avoid shaking your poor DS or whatever you're using to play Pokemon right now, and then throwing it onto the ground and stamping on it so bloody hard, I recommend you read this so as to know how to overcome the F.E.A.R strategy.

1) Being smart

If you're smart enough, when that annoying, low-leveled Pokemon uses Endeavor to bring down your health to 1, you will then know that it's time to switch out for another Pokemon. If you don't, you're dumb. If you, after your Pokemon gets hit by Endeavor, decide to try your luck, it is a guaranteed hundred-percent failure, so don't even bother to try. Just substitute Pokemon, and you'll triumph. BUT.

There's always a but in everything. As I was saying... BUT if the opponent has Pursuit and is as smart as you, then your opponent will use Pursuit to defeat your Pokemon before it can switch back out. Ah, well. Tough luck.

2) Bring a Ghost-type

As many SMART people know, Normal-type moves don't affect Ghost-types. Endeavor and Quick Attack are both Normal-type moves, so of course they won't hit Ghost Pokemon. So, if you fear a F.E.A.R Pokemon(that was meant to be a bad pun), just bring along a Ghost Pokemon. BUT.

I told you there was a but in everything. Continuing on... BUT if the F.E.A.R Pokemon has the Scrappy ability, which allows the user to hit Ghost Pokemon with Normal-type moves, well then, it's bye-bye for your Ghost Pokemon.

3) Inflict negative status effects

Use Flamethrower or something to inflict a 'burn' status, or use Sludge to inflict a 'poisoned' status. Then, the opponent will be killed after launching Endeavor, and before it can use Quick Attack to finish you off. BUT.

Another but. Yay. Anyway, this tactic is NOT recommended. Flamethrower or Sludge only has a 30 percent(if I'm wrong, correct me) of dealing 'burnt' and 'poisoned' statuses respectively. If it doesn't work, you're practically dead, so don't try this out unless you're a daredevil or something.

4) Embargo

If your Pokemon is in the midst of a battle with a F.E.A.R Pokemon and knows the move Embargo, use it. It prevents the foe from using any held items, and thus it's Focus Sash will be rendered useless. The next turn, just defeat it with a 1-hit KO. Wow, no buts in this one.

5) Use a first-hit attack

Attacks like Sucker Punch or ExtremeSpeed, attacks that strike first. This way, you can counter Quick Attack and make the foe faint before it can use Quick Attack to make your Pokemon faint. Do note though, you'll have to be much higher in level than the F.E.A.R Pokemon if you wanna use this strategy.

So if you're feeling rather cocky right now, go challenge a friend who has a F.E.A.R Pokemon. If you win, don't forget, you owe it all to me.

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**Yay for another chapter done! Be sure to review, people who are reading this! Or I'll strangle you! Hahahaaa~~ Go check out my other fanfic, Pokemon Kanto, as well, if you could. Thanks a lot! If you got any ideas for the next chapter, tell me in a review! Or if you wanna add any new strategies to this, review as well. Thanks! **


	4. Emerald Edition! Groudon and Kyogre

**Hello to all of you fans of The Pokemon Anti Noob Guide. I know I haven't updated in pretty long, just coz I'm held up by schoolwork, exams, other stories and stuffs. I hope you enjoy this chapter of The Pokemon Anti Noob Guide which tells how to catch Groudon and Kyogre in Pokemon Emerald. For this, I had to refer to a few Youtube videos. Many thanks to pyrino for providing these videos, though I don't even know the guy. I suggest you watch the videos if you really want to capture these two legendaries, and use this chapter as reference. Still, review. Side note: You'll have to beat the Elite Four and the Champion before attempting this. Enjoy. ****

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Kyogre and Groudon.

Two legendary beings, that almost wiped out Hoenn with their destructive fighting. But you, the hero, stopped their fighting by bringing Rayquaza, the last of the three legendary Pokemon of Hoenn, to Sootopolis, thus ending their fight. Groudon and Kyogre have since returned to their respective resting places.

Now you have defeated the Champion and you're the strongest Trainer in all of Hoenn. But are you done yet? Hell no.

You still have the legendaries to catch. First up, Groudon. Now, you must at least have a team of Level 50s and over. I managed to capture Groudon with a Level 46 Aggron, Level 49 Tropius, Level 48 Flygon, Level 55 Swampert, Level 49 Hariyama and Level 53 Manectric. Oh, and with plenty of Revives and Hyper Potions. You might want to stock up on those items if your team are around those levels.

Now, what is the most essential item for catching a Pokemon?

Of course. Ultra Balls.

Go to the nearest PokeMart and purchase some Ultra Balls. For me, I packed about 40 Ultra Balls, but if you are feeling insecure, go ahead and buy 50. Or 99. I'm not stopping you. Just make sure you have the money, because you still need to get the Hyper Potions and Revives. And if you don't want to run into any wild Pokemon during the journey, I recommend a few Max Repels. I also recommend a Pokemon that has status-inflicting moves, though I think ones that cause sleep are the best choice.

Now you've got everything? If you have, get your Flyer of your team to fly you to Fortree City.

Whoosh... whoosh...

And now you're in Fortree City. Get to Route 119 and keep going downwards until you see a bridge. Cross it, and you'll be in front of this big building. Unlike a few other versions, Pokemon Emerald do not have Poketch Apps(Diamond, Pearl and Platinum) nor maps that reveal the location of the legendary Pokemon(HeartGold and SoulSilver). So how do we find the legendaries? There is a way and it is right here in the building in front of you, also known as the Weather Institute. Enter the building.

Get to the second floor and cross the room until you find this scientist in front of a PC. Here's what he's supposed to say for Groudon. There's a different thing he'll say for Kyogre, but we'll get to that later. Supposedly, the Groudon is around Route 118, the scientist will say...

"I track weather patterns around the Hoenn region." Press A to continue.

"Presently, a drought has been recorded in Route 118." Press A to continue.

"Could that mean, somewhere near Route 118..." Press A to end the conversation.

Now, he might not necessarily say Route 118. Maybe a different route, it varies. Go to the route he'd pointed out. As you can see, there will be a drought and the route will flash brightly occasionally. Now look for a rockface which will be somewhere in the route. While doing this, you might wander into some grass, so if you don't want to be pulled up by some wild Pokemon, use your Max Repel. There will, guaranteed, only be one rockface and there will be a cave entrance on that rockface, something that isn't supposed to be there. Enter through the cave entrance. The sign at the top left will indicate that you are at 'Terra Cave'.

Now go through the cave. Now you don't have to use your Max Repel here. Terra Cave is completely void of Pokemon. Go through the cave, making some twists and turns here and there. There will eventually be a bright hole which you'll have to go through. You're still in Terra Cave, but this time the place has gotten foggier. Go through the cave again. At the end of this rather easy maze you'll find the legendary Groudon.

Now, I suggest before you do anything and run charging and screaming at Groudon, you save your game first, or if you're using computer and the Visual Boy Advance emulator, save your state. I saved and I killed Groudon twice. I succeeded the third time, actually.

Put your status-inflicting Pokemon as the first Pokemon and walk towards the pool of red lava that Groudon is in. Groudon will automatically walk, or swim, to you and the battle will commence. Groudon is at Level 70 with the moves SolarBeam, Rest, Fissure and Fire Blast. SolarBeam and Fire Blast may be a pain to some Pokemon in your team that are weak against those moves, so refrain from using them. Fissure can also be troublesome as well as it is a one-hit KO move, but the good thing is that it has extremely low accuracy. Rest will also be a pain, but at least it puts Groudon to sleep for you.

As I had no Pokemon that could inflict any negative statuses on Groudon, I used my weaker Pokemon first to lower it's HP down a bit before they all got wiped out. Then I used Swampert, but Groudon's Fissure totally screwed it.

Use a Grass and Flying-type against Groudon, a Pokemon like Tropius. Fissure did no effect against my Tropius, while SolarBeam did little damage. It would be even better if Tropius had SolarBeam. Groudon's ability Drought brings Sunlight, and SolarBeam does not need to take two turns if there is sunlight. Groudon is weak against Grass-type moves, so it works out. But watch out for Groudon's Fire Blast. It will definitely take Tropius down in one hit.

After getting Groudon's health into the red zone, spam your Ultra Balls at it. Of course, Groudon could purposely go using Rest, which will bring it's health up again. If that happens, you just have to repeat what you did earlier. If you end up killing it, load your game all over again to repeat your battle. It might be troublesome but that's the way it is.

When you come out of Terra Cave after catching/killing Groudon, the cave entrance to Terra Cave will disappear and the drought will stop.

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Now, Kyogre. If you have followed my guide and captured Groudon first, well goodie goodie for you. Take your Groudon along for the ride. If you have a Tropius, take it along as well.

Fly back to Fortree City and go back to the Weather Institute and back up the stairs to the second floor to meet your old friend, the scientist. This time, the scientist should say...

"I track weather patterns over the Hoenn region." Press A to continue.

"Presently, heavy rainfall has been recorded over Route 125." Press A to continue.

"Could that mean, somewhere near Route 125..." Press A to end the conversation.

It might not necessarily be Route 125, like with Groudon, but just be certain it will always be a water route. Get out of the Weather Institute and stock up on the items I told you earlier, Ultra Balls, Hyper Potions, Revives and stuff. Also you'll need a Pokemon that can Surf and Dive, or a Pokemon that can Surf and a Pokemon that can Dive.

At the certain water route the scientist has pointed out, look out for a diving patch(there will only be one) around the route that isn't supposed to be there. When you found it, press A and they'll ask you if you want to dive under. Select yes and you'll be underwater.

Now, you're underwater. Simply follow the path. You'll have to go straight, then take a turn before you find an entrance on a rockface. Enter the rockface and you'll find a small room. Without turning or moving anywhere, just go straight until reaching the end of the room, which will only take you about two seconds or maybe less than that, considering the room is pretty small. At the end of the room, use Dive again and it will transport you up.

You'll be at shore now. The top left sign indicates that you are at Marine Cave. Surf to shore and go through the cave entrance.

Now basically all you've gotta do is to just follow the path. Like Terra Cave, Marine Cave is totally void of Pokemon, so you do not have to worry about using up Max Repels or running into Pokemon. At the end of the path the cave will lead to a pool where Kyogre resides. Like before, walk up to the pool and Kyogre will automatically swim towards you. Your battle will then commence. However, like before, save first as Kyogre might be even harder to capture than Groudon.

Kyogre at Level 70 has a moveset of Hydro Pump, Rest, Sheer Cold and Double Edge. Sheer Cold, the counterpart of Groudon's Fissure. Sheer Cold can, like Fissure, screw all your Pokemon over, but if you keep pumping Revives and Hyper Potions into them, it will be fine. And like Fissure, Sheer Cold has very low accuracy.

The reason I say that Kyogre is harder to capture is because when you've got Kyogre's health in the red zone, all going according to plan and before you can even throw your Ultra Ball, Kyogre uses Double Edge at the last moment that will make it suffer recoil damage, thus making itself faint. This has happened to me in my first attempt.

If you've got Groudon and a Tropius with SolarBeam along with you, send out a random Pokemon in your team first. Kyogre's ability, Drizzle, should make it rain. Next, withdraw this random Pokemon and send Groudon out. Groudon's Drought will eventually turn the rain into intense sunlight. After that, switch Groudon for Tropius. With Tropius's sunlight-powered SolarBeam, you will be able to lower Kyogre's health in no time at all. Of course, unless it uses Rest. You might not want to lower it's health too low though, as this might cause Kyogre to Double Edge itself and faint. As the Pokemon's health is already very low when it becomes red, capturing Kyogre is certainly a challenge. Thus, you might want to rely on luck for this.

When you have Kyogre's health low enough, spam Ultra Balls at it and pray that it does not use anything like Rest or Double Edge. I don't think it will take you more than 10 Ultra Balls and even less if you inflict any negative status effects on it.

After you have captured Kyogre, exit Marine Cave. When you have got back to the water route, you'll find that the heavy rain has stopped.

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**Yep, so that's it for the fourth chapter of The Pokemon Anti Noob Guide. Remember, with more reviews I can speed up updating, so step on it, readers! If you have anything to inquire about, feel free to ask me. I don't bite and I'm really friendly. If you've got a suggestion for next chapter, tell me in a review so I can upload it. Thanks, and peace out! **


	5. Hoenn Pokemon Teams

**Hey guys, I know I haven't updated like in forever but whatever. It's Friday today, and that just reminds me of Rebecca Black. Ewww. Anyway I'm going to do a chapter to recommend some Hoenn teams. **

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As all of you might know, the Elite Four are very awesome compared to the Gym Leaders.

I mean seriously. In Pokemon Emerald, the last Gym Leader, Juan, has a Level 46 Kingdra as his highest level.

At the Champion, boom! A team of Level 55s and above and a Level 58 Milotic as his highest level. And then you go using glitches or cheats or GameShark Codes or whatever shit to make your Pokemon win. The cheating way.

Well, I'll teach you guys the real way.

For me, my team composed of a Swampert, Hariyama, Aggron, Manectric, Flygon and Tropius. I managed to defeat almost all of the third Elite Four's Pokemon until I got defeated, but that time was only a test run and I wasn't using any potions or healing items. Yes, I got to the third Elite Four without using any items at all. My Swampert and Manectric were literally a double pwnage.

As the Gym Leaders are pretty easy, you might want to focus on getting Pokemon that are super effective in types against the Elite Four instead of the Leaders. Sidney is a Dark-type, which is why I chose Hariyama as one of my Pokemon. Fighting-types are super effective against Dark-types.

Next up, Phoebe. A Ghost-type wielder. I mainly used Flygon for this as he had Dark-type moves like Crunch. Although Flygon wasn't the only Pokemon with Dark-type moves in my team so it worked out fine.

The third Elite Four is Glacia who uses Ice-types in battle. Ice-types are cool! Sorry for being overly random there. Anyway, for Glacia I owned her with Hariyama and Aggron with some help from Manectric.

The fourth and last Elite Four is the old cock Drake, a master of Dragon-types. Flygon's DragonBreath ruled, but then as Flygon was Dragon-type as well, it died out pretty soon. I resorted to my other Pokemon to finish the fight, though I used a few Max Revives on Flygon.

And finally the last deadly obstacle, the frickin' Champion, Wallace or Steven, depending on the games you are playing. As I was playing Emerald, I mainly used Manectric and Tropius. For Steven, he is a Steel-type and I recommend Blaziken if you chose it as your starter. Or if you did not choose Blaziken, you could maybe use a Fighting-type like my Hariyama. Or a Ground-type like Swampert.

If you are wondering why I didn't choose Blaziken instead of Swampert for Emerald 'cause Blaziken is super effective against at least Glacia and Swampert is not super effective to any of the Elite Four, the simple reason is that I liek Mudkipz!

No, seriously. Torchic sucks. Although I hate Mudkip's face, it was recommended as my starter by many, so I chose it. Excluding the Elite Four, Swampert is useful in everything. Everything, I tell you.

Oh, and never catch Sableye. Even though you might be tempted to as the Pokemon has no weaknesses, but just take my advice. Never catch a Sableye. Never.

If you're playing Ruby, you are goddamn lucky. Catch a frickin' Mawile in Granite Cave, it'll help greatly. In Emerald and Sapphire, Mawile can't be found in Granite Cave, sadly. Or I would have used it for my team.

I was actually also planning to use Bagon 'cause Salamence is a powerhouse, but decided not to as I could only catch it after earning the eighth badge or so, and wouldn't that might have been a little too late? So I settled for Flygon instead.

You could use my team if you want, but there are some other teams that I've come across that are pretty cool.

Hoenn Team 1) Sceptile, Pikachu, Crawdaunt, Torkoal, Swellow, Flygon  
Hoenn Team 2) Blaziken, Gardevoir, Flygon, Milotic, Salamence, Metagross  
Hoenn Team 3) Flygon, Gardevoir, Absol, Shiftry, Manectric, Aggron

Yeah, so maybe you guys could try that out too? Or maybe play around and catch different Pokemon but of the same types? It's all up to you, my friends.

Recommended Pokemon are Gardevoir and Metagross. They rule and I don't even know why the heck I didn't catch them.

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**Sorry if this was short, but yeah. The next chapter will be longer. Sorry. As usual you see any mistakes or you've got any suggestions of what to put up next chapter, please let me know. I might consider on doing how to catch another legendary, but it will take me too much time for I have to experience catching the legendary myself before I can actually write a good chapter. Anyway, writing about catching legendaries are long and tedious. I tried writing one on the Regis but I gave up. Anyway just review. Thank you. All reviews are duly appreciated. Except flames, of course. Urgh, enough of my little rant. Just click that tiny little button down there alrights? **


	6. The Three Legendary Beasts

**Hello, readers of The Pokemon Anti Noob Guide. I'm sorry for not updating for so long, but I think this story might have been forgotten, seeing as there was only one review last chapter T_T. Still, I'm going to update this since this is the only non-completed, non-hiatus story that I haven't updated. This chapter will be the easiest way out to catch The Legendary Dogs. Or beasts, but whatever. So sit tight in your seats, kids. If you aren't happy with me calling you a kid, go complain to your momma or something, but first sit back, relax and enjoy the chapter.**

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Suicune, Raikou and Entei.

The three Legendary Beasts of Ecruteak.

For years... maybe not that long. For months... not that extreme either. Maybe weeks? No, still too long. For days, you as a Johto Trainer have sought to catch these three legendaries, but have failed in your attempts. Well, this is the right, and pro, way to catch the Legendary Beasts.

First, you will need a Pokemon that knows moves that prevents the foe from escaping. Some of these moves are Mean Look, Block, Whirlpool and Fire Spin. It would be better if you played Pokemon HeartGold or Pokemon SoulSilver rather than Pokemon Gold, Silver or Crystal. Mean Look is available in all these games, Block is only available in HeartGold and SoulSilver, while Whirlpool and Fire Spin is available in all games. If you are playing Generation IV(HeartGold and SoulSilver) you'll have more options and more moves to use, but if you play Generation II, well that sucks for you.

There are also such abilities that prevent escaping like Shadow Tag and Arena Trap. Take note that Arena Trap do not work on Flying-type Pokemon(though I have no idea why I'm stating this, for the Legendary Beasts aren't Flying-type). However, these abilities are only available options in Pokemon HeartGold and SoulSilver. Sorry, Gold, Silver and Crystal players.

First we'll be following up on the abilities side. Now we will only be trying out the abilities I have mentioned, so first is Shadow Tag. The only Pokemon that have the Shadow Tag ability in Pokemon HeartGold and SoulSilver are Wynaut and Wobbuffet. Now Wynaut cannot be found in HeartGold and SoulSilver. Thus, we are going for Wobbuffet. Wobbuffet can be found in Cerulean Cave, Dark Cave in the Blackthorn City side and also the Safari Zone. However, it is extremely rare to find in all these places.

Second and the last one is Arena Trap. The only Pokemon with this ability is Diglett, Dugtrio and Trapinch. Diglett can be found commonly in Pokemon HeartGold and SoulSilver at Diglett's Cave and Route 48. Dugtrio can only be found in Diglett's Cave, but they are not as common as the Diglett. Trapinch can be found in the Safari Zone, but they are rare. If you ask me, the best solution would be Diglett, for if you have bad luck, you might have to catch your desired Arena Trap Pokemon multiple times.

A Diglett can have a random ability, either Arena Trap, OR Sand Veil. Same with Dugtrio. Trapinch can either have Arena Trap OR Hyper Cutter. So if you catch a Diglett or a Dugtrio with the ability Sand Veil, or a Trapinch with Hyper Cutter, you'll have to catch another that has the Arena Trap ability.

Now that we are done with the abilities, let's move on with the moves. To learn Mean Look in the easiest and fastest way possible would be to catch a Gastly. Gastly learns Mean Look at Level 13 in Generation II and it learns Mean Look at Level 8 in Generation IV. Another option would be to train a Zubat and evolve it to a Golbat. Golbat can learn Mean Look at Level 33. In my HeartGold team, I had a Crobat on my main team so that was taken care of easily. Trust me, Crobats are good. If you're still in the middle of your journey in Johto, and you haven't caught a Zubat, catch it. It'll prove useful as a Crobat, but only if you show it enough happiness, for Golbat evolves into Crobat after getting enough happiness. I might do a chapter on happiness later, but now that's not the point. There are many other ways, but I'd rather list the easier ones as shown above.

Next is Block, which is only available to Generation IV players. Now, do you remember the Sudowoodo that was blocking the way to Goldenrod City? Well, if you have battled it and caught it, train it up to Level 22, which won't be hard, considering it was Level 20 when you caught it. It will learn Block. Or if you have battled and caught the large Snorlax blocking the way at Route 11 and Route 12. But as this Snorlax is at Level 50, I recommend the Sudowoodo as Snorlax learns Block at Level 36 and Block might have been randomly deleted off for some other move. Correct me if I am wrong.

Next, Whirlpool. As Whirlpool is a HM, it shouldn't be hard to get. Just note that you will have to obtain the Glacier Badge before you're able to use Whirlpool outside of battle. If you don't know how to get Whirlpool, find a walkthrough or something. There are many Pokemon that can learn Whirlpool, a few namely Psyduck, Golduck, Tentacool, Totodile and Wooper. If you don't know where to find these Pokemon, check out Bulbapedia.

Lastly, Fire Spin. The easiest way to catch it would be to catch a Ponyta. It can be found commonly at Route 22, 26, 27, 28 and Mt. Silver. Train Ponyta up to Level 26 in Pokemon Gold, Silver and Crystal. In HeartGold and SoulSilver you'll have to train it up to Level 24. Then, it'll learn Fire Spin.

If you've got at least one out of everything above, you are free to begin. First, check your Pokegear map to see where Entei and Raikou are. They will easily be recgonizable for smaller versions of their heads will appear on the map. Check out where these heads are, and embark. However, DO NOT use Fly, for this will only cause the two Legendary Beasts to flee into another route. Also, the Beasts will move like you do, except they move slower. So maybe you'll need some Repels in case the wild Pokemon slow you down. If you're playing Pokemon HeartGold or Pokemon SoulSilver, you better put the prevent-foe-from-escaping-ability Pokemon as the first Pokemon.

When you have encountered either Entei or Raikou, use your prevent-foe-from-escaping move, or if you have a prevent-foe-from-escaping-ability, do not switch the Pokemon out and just weaken Entei/Raikou like that. I suggest 50 or more Ultra Balls.

The last and easiest Legendary Beast is Suicune(in Generation IV anyway). However you, much like Entei and Raikou, will have to hunt Suicune down and use the prevent-foe-from-escaping moves and abilities. However, in Generation IV, your last encounter with it will be at Route 25. So if you can't find it at Route 25, you probably haven't had an encounter with it from last time. This might sound confusing, so I'll list all the places where you need to go to find Suicune in Generation IV.

From first to last location: Burnt Tower, Cianwood City, Vermilion City, Route 14, and last but not least Route 25. However, you'll have to beat Misty before you can find it at Route 25. When you see it for the last time at Route 25, it'll initiate a battle with you. That is when you make your move.

So that wraps up how to catch the three Legendary Beasts.

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**Remember everyone, if you succeed after reading this, partial credit goes to me xD. If this doesn't work your free to criticise me, but please NO RUDE CRITICISM or FLAMES. Alright, goodbye all, and check out my other stories, if you'd please. **


	7. Ice Path Part I

**Hello Pokemon fans. It's Kook with the seventh chapter of The Pokemon Anti Noob Guide. Lucky number, much? Anyway, I just received some really gay reviews on my newest fanfic, 10 Reasons The Anime Sucked. Seriously go check those lame reviews out, oh and BTW, review at the same time? xD. This chapter will be about how to get through the terrifying Ice Path for Pokemon HeartGold and SoulSilver. I'm not sure if this can be applied to Pokemon Gold, Silver and Crystal as well but still check it out. The Ice Path thing was based off my pal Sky Blue Storm's suggestion. R&R! P.S. I just blocked some of the people who reviewed 10 Reasons The Anime Sucked and some others who might turn out to be flamers of my story. Why am I telling you this? I'm not sure. Read on. **

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The Ice Path is a cave/path that you have to get through to get to Blackthorn City and progress with the game. However, the Ice Path is pretty icy(bad pun) so check out this guide before you attempt it.

The Ice Path is similar to Pryce's Gym but a little more straightforward for the first few parts.

Well get to the Ice Path first. I'm not going to tell you how because I'm lazy, but there'll be a blonde chick- oh wait, it's a male. There'll be a blonde male, a Bird Keeper I think, that'll battle you and ask for your number right outside the Ice Path.

Hint hint: Don't give it to him. He's a pedophile.

The Ice Path's entrance is a normal cave entrance except with some snow. The sign outside says, 'Ice Path. Careful not to slip, fall over, freeze, and get stuck on the ice'. Pleasant welcome, eh? Well with this guide you won't be able to even try falling or slipping, so read on.

Entering the Ice Path, it's interior will be like a normal cave except it's blue. Yes, blue. There are multiple floors and I'm going to list the Pokemon that can be found here first.

_1F _

Zubats at Level 22, it's appearance rate in the morning for HeartGold is 25%, 20% for midday and 25% at night. For SoulSilver it's 5% in the morning, 0% at midday and 5% at night. Golbats can be found at Level 22 here as well and their appearance rates are 30% for both games and the rating stays the same for morning, midday and night. Don't even ask me how that's possible on SoulSilver when Golbats are supposedly stronger than Zubats.

Jynx can also be found on this floor in both games at Level 22. Appearance rate for morning is 5%, 10% at midday and 5% at night. Swinub are also found here in both games at Levels 21, 22 and 23 with the rating of 40% all times of the day.

The last Pokemon - Delibird can only be found here in Pokemon SoulSilver. Only can be caught at Level 22, Delibird can be found with the rating of 20% at all times of the day.

_B1F_

The same Pokemon, levels, ratings and everything else. Basically the absolute same Pokemon with 1F.

_B2F_

All the same except with Delibird. Instead of only being able to find Level 22 Delibirds, there now exists Level 22 Delibirds and Level 23 Delibirds on this floor.

_B3F _

All the same(again?). There are now no Level 23 Delibirds on this floor, only Level 22. Remember though, no Delibird can be found anywhere in this Ice Path in HeartGold. So don't go searching for it if you are a HeartGold player - I did notify you.

Alright, now we'll get back to the guide. I do recommend some Repels as there'll be Pokemon springing up at you any way you walk. There are also hidden items which I'll point out during this chapter.

Walk forward and you'll see a sheet of ice which you'll have to slide through. If you can't even do this simple puzzle(if it can be called a puzzle, this one is easy), then you're dumb. Keep going forward. If you're travelling through the Ice Path on Saturday you'll see Cameron the Photographer, but he's not important unless you want to take a picture so just pass through. The next sheet of ice you see, you just go - Up, left, up, left, down, left, up, right. There's a Max Potion hidden in one of the rocks, but I'm not really sure which rock it is. If you're desperate for a Max Potion you can go to each rock and press the A button to see if the Max Potion is hidden there but if I'm you, I'm not really going to bother.

Once you're past that ice puzzle, first ignore the other ice puzzle beside you and go up the stairs where you'll see a man who doesn't have much hair. He'll tell you that he dropped the Waterfall TM and he wants you to get it. Go back down the stairs and go to the ice puzzle on your right(the one that you HAVEN'T ATTEMPTED). For that puzzle follow this sequence: right, down, left, up, left, down, left, up, right. Pick up the Pokeball on the floor and it'll announce that you've gotten the HM for Waterfall. Go back up the stairs to talk to the man and he'll tell you to keep the HM. Sweet.

There's another hidden item that is hidden in one of the three ice rocks in front of the old man. Press A when you're in front of the tallest rock of the three. You'll get an Ice Heal which isn't really useful considering it's once in a blue moon your Pokemon get frozen. For me, at least.

Go down the other flight of stairs on your right and climb down the ladder.

The next floor has a boulder puzzle. With Strength, push the first boulder upwards until you can't push it anymore. Then go around right until you are on top of the boulder and push it to the right and then down into the hole.

Push the second boulder to the right and then downwards UNTIL you can push it to the left. Push it one step past the hole. Then push the boulder down again before pushing it to the right and down the hole.

Third boulder - push it to the left. Then go around it and push it down until you can't do so anymore(after pushing down a few steps your boulder-pushing path will be blocked by a rock). Go around it again and push to the left, down two steps and then pushing it all the way to the left and down the hole.

Fourth boulder - push up two steps. Push it all the way to the right until your path is blocked by a rock. Up three steps, and then all the way to the left. Your last boulder will drop down the last hole.

When you're done, go down the ladder.

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**And that's done for Part I of the Ice Path. I think it would be better if you watched a video for this as this chapter was extremely unclear to me because you might not know which is Boulder 1, Boulder 2, Boulder 3 and Boulder 4. I watched MunchingOrange's Pokemon SoulSilver Episode 31 and 32 as reference for this chapter, so go check his Youtube videos out if you're still stuck. Thanks and review! **


	8. Ice Path Part II

**It's been months since I updated this... but the EPIC POKEMANS FEELING kicked in again so I just had to update again. I'll be updating regularly from now on if there are reviews. This is a continued chapter from the previous chapter, Ice Path Part I. Read and enjoy. **

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Have you climbed down the ladder?

Well, then do it already!

Once down the ladder, go forward and slide down the ice path. You'll stop at a non-slippery square patch of ground, and there's a hidden item, a Carbon, over there between the wall and a rock.

Slide left - make sure to hit the black-colored boulder. The boulder will make you stop sliding, and now you slide up. You'll hit the wall. Slide left, and you'll hit an icicle. Now slide down, and you'll hit another boulder. Lastly, slide left to collect an item - a Max Potion.

After you've got the Max Potion, slide down and you'll stop at another non-slippery patch of ground. After stopping at the patch of ground, go right and slide towards the boulder. Once you've stopped in front of the boulder, slide up and hit the wall, then slide left to arrive at another patch of ground.

Go down two steps, but not out of the patch of ground. After you've gone down two steps, step out of the patch of ground and slide right, you'll arrive at the first patch of ground you got on when you just climbed down the ladder.

Go down one step and slide left, hitting the boulder. Now slide down, and hit another boulder. Slide left to hit yet another boulder, then slide up before finally going right. Pick up the Full Heal and go down the ladder.

Finally the confusing part is gone. So once you're down the ladder, you'll be at another floor. If you have a Pokemon in your party that knows Rock Smash, use Rock Smash on the rock to get a NeverMeltIce, basically an item that enhances Ice-type moves.

Walk over to the other side of the room and use the ladder to make your way up.

Step into the ice and slide your way to the other side. Don't go up the ladder. There's also a TM for Avalanche, so pick it up if you can figure out how to get to it.

In this room, the item you can see over there is an Iron, while in one of the rocks there's a hidden Revive. After getting these, make your way across the room and up the ladder.

Once up the ladder, you'll see an item above you, a Protein, actually. Get that, and head down, and you'll see another patch of ice, and a Kimono Girl stuck in it. Make your way to the Kimono Girl and talk to her.

So this Kimono Girl apparently wants you to push her back.

Insert pedobear picture here please.

Okay, back on topic. Just end the conversation and you'll automatically push the Kimono Girl, and she'll slide through the ice and get on the other side. After thanking you, she'll leave the cave through the exit. Slide down and leave the cave too, and you're done.

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**Well, that's it for the Ice Path, hope you guys liked it. The first part of this chapter isn't so clear, I admit, so I recommend you watch a walkthrough on how to get thru Ice Path instead of reading this. But anyway, I still want the reviews, so keep them coming. Thanks, and peace out. **


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